Never Trust an AV System

Crackling erupts from the speakers–the speakers must be powered on and functional. On the projector screen, the speakers are missing as an output option in the volume controls–suggesting something’s wrong with the connection.

I know this issue: the cable between the speakers and the computer is probably faulty.

The crowd around me buzzes with restless chatter. We’re in an auditorium for some talk, but the AV guy is still struggling with the audio. The Important Man that’s supposed to have started his speech 5 minutes ago has his arms crossed, and is tapping his feet, occasionally glancing into the AV room behind us. Man, I feel bad for the guy. I’d be shitting my pants in his shoes.

I shift around in my seat; I don’t think the talk’s gonna get started anytime soon. As I cover my mouth to let out a yawn, a voice suddenly pipes up from within my row.

“May I give it a try?”

I get whiplash from spinning my head around to gawk at the culprit. Who’s this brave soul–this absolute fool–who dares to challenge the unpredictable forces of the projector?! The inscrutable mystery that stumps teachers, officemen, and IT guys alike?!

The crowd, happy for any form of entertainment, erupts into cheers, as a tall-ish skinny guy scoots across the row and into the aisle, bumping into knees and feet along the way. I can’t help it; my palms sweat and my heart races. Godspeed, I think to myself, may all the wires be in your favour!

The Brave One reaches the AV room, and I watch the screen intensely as he messes around with the settings. Then the cursor stops; he’s probably gone on to work with the hardware. I think the crowd around me has moved on by now, but I’m still on the edge of my seat.

A minute passes. Then another. I’m left wondering what kind of magic he’s wielding, to tame the speakers into submission. What kind of spells he’s casting on the laptop and the cables and the media system, in order to get them to cooperate behind those closed doors.

After what feels like an eternity, he finally emerges from the room. The look on his face tells me everything I need to know.

“Couldn’t do anything,” he sighs, “cable’s broken.”

The room breaks into applause anyway. He returns to his seat, now a hero for trying, even though no one here could care less about the opening video we were supposed to watch. The speaker disgruntledly skips the video, then clears his throat as he prepares to begin his undoubtedly yawn-inspiring monologue.

Yet another devastating loss to the AV systems. Never trust them; they definitely won’t fail to let you down!